thoughts on the new of the day: trying

hmmm…..

            There was a young boy on the Oprah show yesterday who suffered from seemingly uncontrollable anger.  He dealt with the urges by doing some effective meditation.  He imagined himself surrounded by white light and that the white light protected him from the negative energy that invaded his psyche.  Apparently, it is an effective tool for him and the anger episodes have pretty much subsided.

            One of the things he told Oprah was that we must “do it”, not just try to do it.  He had to do the meditation, not just “try” to control his anger.  He couldn’t just “think” about it, he had to “do” it.

            And isn’t that true of life? We can’t just show up and “try’ in order to be successful.  I remember being given the example of “trying” to pick up a pencil.  Trying to pick it up doesn’t get the job done.  You have to reach out and hold it in your hand in order for a pencil to be effective.

            Don’t just “try’ to be nicer to your spouse or your children, do it!  Don’t just try to go to church on Sunday, do it!  Don’t just think about reading the bible, do it!  Thinking about it is just a stall tactic for avoiding doing something we are not sure we are able to accomplish.  I once heard a friend say, ‘We gotta do something even if it’s wrong!”  And sometimes that is what it takes – not just trying – but doing.

            hmmm…..

           

thoughts on the news of the day: gibberish

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            The mystery has been solved as to why a TV reporter lapsed into gibberish during a live report outside the Grammys last Sunday night.  Serene Branson’s behavior caused speculation that she suffered a stroke.  She underwent a brain scan and blood work and doctors discovered that the culprit was a type of migraine headache that can mimic some of the symptoms of a stroke.

            Serene Branson had an excuse and a reason to make no sense when talking on live national television.  But can’t any one of us be accused of talking gibberish at any given moment of the day?  Does what comes out of our mouths always make sense?  Do we babble on and on when it might make a little more sense to listen as much as we talk?

            I did a memorial service this week for a member of our church.  The spouse wanted a simple and short service and I obliged.  After it was all said and done, I was concerned that the widow would think that I short changed her and her husband’s memory.  But she told me that the service was perfect, that the brevity of it was just what she wanted.  So I was relieved and learned a little that day.

            Conversation is important.  Communication can be the key in any successful relationship.  But listening is as essential as talking.  Going on and on about a topic is just not good.  I believe that you should say what you came to say and sit down.  I am sitting down now.

            hmmm…..

thoughts on the news of the day:bloggers

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            Natalie Munroe, a 30-year-old high school English teacher in suburban Philadelphia has been called out because of a blog she wrote describing her students as “disengaged, lazy whiners.”  She also used inappropriate language and profanity in describing the students.  She never named the students and the blog was intended for family and friends only. While the blog has been removed from availability, it can easily be found online.  Now Munroe is fighting to keep her job, from which she maybe fired because of her outspokenness.

            What about blogs?  Can we say anything we want on them?  Apparently, most people think we can and apparently most people do.  But I disagree.  I think care should be taken in anything written that sails across the cyber sky.

            In my own case, I have to be very careful about what I say and allow on my blog.  For example, I recently had some comments from another blogger about a certain blog I had written.  While they weren’t particularly flattering, they were intelligently written.  But I didn’t approve them for the blog.  You see, the avatar that the blogger used was one in which the character shown had an outfit on with extremely low cleavage.  Call me a prude, but I am a minister, and can’t take the chance of someone misinterpreting that picture.  It’s the world I live in.  

            And fortunately or unfortunately, it’s the world Natalie Munroe lives in, too. 

            hmmm…..

thoughts on the news of the day: grief

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            Liam Neeson spoke out about his wife’s untimely death in the March issue of Esquire Magazine.  She was severely injured in a skiing accident in Montreal in March of 2009 and later died.  Neeson said that he coped with his grief over her death by “running away to work.”  In the magazine article, he said, “It’s easy enough to plan jobs, to plan a lot of work.  That’s effective.  But that’s the weird thing about grief.  You can’t prepare for it.  You think you’re gonna cry and get it over with.  You make those plans, but they never work.”

            I am privileged to officiate at two funerals this week, both of great guys who left amazing widows behind.  In each instance, this is the second husband they have buried.  The grace and dignity with which they have handled their grief has been inspiring to watch.  Both expressed joy over the good times they had with their spouses and their gratitude to God for the lives they shared together.  They are also grateful that their spouses no longer suffer from pain.

            Sometimes grief smacks you right in the face, though.  It’s sneaky; it creeps up on you when you least expect it.  You think you are handling it OK, then Bam … a wave of tear filled grief overwhelms you.  I say when the grief comes, let it.  Cry, wail if you need to, but deal with the feelings as they come.  They may not ever completely go away, but in time, if we let them come, they will fade. 

            hmmm…..

thoughts on the news of the day: forgiveness

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            Remember Gabriel Giffords?  She was shot a little over a month ago at a rally in Arizona.  After the initial media frenzy, we didn’t hear much about her recovery.  But now we are getting reports that she is doing well.  She is relearning her speech, she is able to sing simple songs like “Twinkle, twinkle little star” and she can now walk with the aid of a cart.  Her physical condition seems to be steadily improving.  But I wonder about her spiritual condition.  That will need to heal also if she is to make a full recovery.

             Learning to forgive someone who has dramatically harmed you is a nearly impossible task. I have found that one of the ways we can forgive is by praying for the one who has injured you.  It is difficult, if not impossible to begin to pray for someone who has made your life a mess.  But it works. 

            In my own life, I have recently come upon a situation where someone has hurt me and my hunch is that they have no idea what they have done.  My inclination is to be angry and to want to fight back.  And sometimes that is useful and necessary to do.  But in this case, it won’t give me peace.  So I prayed for him.  And that made all the difference.  Asking God to be with him, and to guide and direct his life helped me to realize that although he has caused me harm, he is in a pretty big mess himself.  I found compassion for him and I feel better.

            Did it change him or the circumstance?  Probably not.  But it changed me.  I am calmer, stronger, braver and at peace.  Pray for your enemies.  It won’t fix the situation, but it will fix you.

            hmmm…..

thoughts on the news of the day: underdog

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            If you have heard of Esperanza Spaulding, please raise you hand.  I hadn’t heard of her until last night when she won the Grammy Award for Best New Artist.  She was an underdog among the likes of the teen sensation, Justin Bieber.  In an industry where millions of albums are sold, her jazz debut album has only sold 31,000 copies.  Her acceptance speech was gracious and humble.  She said something very charming, “I take this honor to heart so sincerely and I’ll do my damnedest to make great music for you.  It’s such an honor and God bless.”

            Why do we love underdogs?  We love seeing them overcome and become victorious, sometimes over the smallest of odds. When the unknown artist wins, we cheer.  Have you been an underdog? That feeling of being less than and not worthy is common in all of us.  Someone always looks better, is more successful, more likely to be the winner.  But all of us also overcome great odds to accomplish our goals in life.    

            Jesus was an underdog.  He came into the world a poor carpenter’s son and scrabbled with the Pharisees and rulers of his day throughout his short career.  He seemed to have been defeated but in the end, he was victorious.  No Grammy Awards were bestowed on him, he won no Oscars for Best Performance of a Savior – no, he won something far, far better for all of us – and we love him for it.

            hmmm…..

thoughts on the news of the day: walk away?

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            Egypt has finally freed itself from Mubarak.  He has finally left a country where he simply wasn’t wanted any more. 

            Have you ever been caught in a situation where you clearly weren’t wanted? I am not talking about those situations of international importance, I am talking about everyday times when control issues surface and another person or people just don’t want you around any more.   I found myself in that place recently and it is quite uncomfortable.  Now, being a minister, it’s rare to find myself in that situation.  Usually ministers are welcomed and embraced when we show up. 

            What do you do when you find yourself in that place?  Sometimes it is easy to just leave, to just gracefully bow out of the event, circumstance or situation.  But most times there is more at stake.  Most times, it is a struggle because some folks want you there and some folks clearly do not.

            Asking some questions usually helps to clarify things.  Do I really perceive this correctly or is it just my imagination?  Is my ego in the way?  Are the folks doing the rejecting justified?  Do the folks who seem to want me there really care whether I leave or whether I stay? Is there an amend I need to make?  Should I just walk away?

            Walking away is the least confrontational and usually the easiest solution.  I remember a wise old sage once saying, “I simply don’t go where I am not wanted.”  Simple enough.  And maybe that’s the best solution.  I'm still working on that.

            hmmm…..